I can work for you based on the concept art/Reference, your work will be done with the style you want.
(You might want to try a manga you don’t really like so you don’t get caught up in the story.Are you in need of someone who can model a 3d metahuman character for you? If yes, you are at the right place for your work done. Manga tends to be extremely obvious with that sort of thing while Western comics are more subtle about it-manga is deliberately trying to get you to read faster-so it’s easier to see how your eye is being directed. I’d suggest picking up some manga and seeing how they use sound effects and panels to direct your eye around the page. For example, page 3, panel 3, the speech bubble leads the eye off the page instead of down into the next panel below. Use the image and speech and narrative bubbles to make the eye go where you want it to across the page.
Overall, not bad-I think your main issue is a lot of dead space that’s not taking advantage of the full page. You’ve also got the bubble crammed up against the panel edge-I say either move it down and give it room to breathe or commit and have it overlap the panel boundary. Why is in the thought bubble? It makes it look like she’s thinking “shiver.” She’s also hugging herself tightly and thinking that it’s cold is even necessary? Could you replace it with an actual sound she’d make or think like “brrrrr”? And/or move “shiver” or “brrr” out of the thought bubble and make it an actual sound effect? There’s a lot of dead space in the panel and you could use something more to push the eye onto the next page than just the lamp-the sound effect or speech bubble could be used for that.
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